August 10, 2011
There are those who love porridge,
and there are those who don’t. Guess
where I come in!
ODE TO A SCOTS BREAKFAST 
O porridge with your nasty smell –
of boarding school and stale barnyard
at breakfast, you do not sit well
you’re even worse when slightly charred
the odor beats the strongest tea
with the burnt smell that should be barred
your taste was one foul drudgery
that clumped or slimed when I was young
and made my stomach vomity
if Gaelic were my mother tongue
oats I might just love to ingest
as it is you should be unsung
not offered by me to a guest
but be quite solemnly repressed
Copyright © by Joanna M. Weston 2011
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About Joanna M. Weston
Born in England, she is now living in Shawnigan Lake, BC. She is married to Robert, an accountant, and they have three sons,
Andrew
Jon
Mark
... and two cats, Alice and Chaucer.
Joanna has an MA from the University of British Columbia. She has published in numerous anthologies and in magazines in Canada, the US, UK, and New Zealand, such as Canadian Women's Studies, Convolvus, Endless Mountains Review, Grain, Green's Magazine, Prairie Fire, Spin, Wascana Review, CBC Gallery, and many more...
Clarity House Press has published several of her chapbooks including:
Berry and the Birthday Band (2010)
One of These Little Ones (1987) – out of print
Cuernavaca Diary (1990) – out of print
Seasons (1993) – out of print
Watch-night (2005) – out of print
yes, i remember well 🙂
with lots of raisins and brown-sugar, it becomes almost palatable.
Hi Andrew,
And you still like the stuff! I’m impressed, and thank you!
Have a good day.
It’s not that anyone is doing it wrong, it’s just that 10 years of boarding school porridge turned me off for life: thin with lumps or thick and sticky with lumps, tasteless grey muck.
You two are doing it wrong. First, good, preferably steel-cut oats, cooked for a long time. Also buckwheat, triticale, rye, etc flakes all make good porridge. Then top with wheat germ and maple syrup… or coconut, blueberries, hemp hearts, yogurt, condensed milk… yum yum.
Actually, upon reflection, a bowl of condensed milk with a spoonful of porridge might go down quite well. Depends on your point of view.
Hi Joanna, I think of this poem every morning as I prepare and eat our porridge; large flake oatmeal, served with delicious local fruit and a bit of brown sugar.
Hi Anthea, But you Like porridge! Think of me enjoying the vast variety of other stuff one can have for breakfast: eggs, cereal, frogs legs, smoothies, shirred mushrooms ….
All the best.